Automakers need to stop designing boring shit

"El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First!" (lightningzone) 02/12/2015 at 10:03 • Filed to: None

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I know that suburban families aren't very demanding with their crossovers, but those two are embarrassing. And we can see them driving around, making us sleepy behind the wheel. Boring cars are dangerous!

Where's the sharpness? Where's the sexy?

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 02/12/2015 at 10:06

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Wow you line those two up and the Equinox looks like a super model.

pauljones > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 02/12/2015 at 10:07

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Where is the "sharpness" or the "sexy" in just about any crossover?

It is what it is. If you want something "sharper" or "sexier," the automakers have plenty of other options. Besides, sometimes, things that look boring and fly under the radar are pretty damn handy.

extraspecialbitter > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 02/12/2015 at 10:08

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When have family haulers ever been sexy? Not counting overly stuffed 2-door vehicles, a la yesterday's meme.

Raphmoe > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 02/12/2015 at 10:08

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Nobody buying these cars are looking for "sharpness" or "sexy".

You know who buys these vehicles?

Families.

Families that have 2 or 3 children and a dog.

Families that go on long road trips and want safety and amenities.

Mom and Dad and the kids use the car to transport their children to after school activities, birthday parties, the beach, etc. They want room in the back for stuff and coolers; these vehicles have that. They want comfort, these vehicles have that.

Nobody is designing these cars for people that want sexy or sharp sports cars because people that want sexy and sharp sports cars go and buy sexy and sharp sports cars. People that want practical vehicles that serve the function of a family hauler will buy these vehicles.

If you want a Hamburger you go get a Hamburger. You don't look at a Hamburger and say "WHY ISN'T THIS HAMBURGER A FOUR COURSE MEAL AT THE RITZ CARLTON, WHERE IS MY CAVIAR AND CHAMPAGNE?"

These designs are not embarrassing; these designs were done by engineers looking for the most efficient way to design and sell a product that is desired. It is embarrassing that "car people" do not understand that there is a market for all types of vehicles. If every car was a sexy sports car, nobody would give a shit about sexy sports cars.

El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! > pauljones 02/12/2015 at 10:09

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So, are you planning to rob a bank or two?

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > Raphmoe 02/12/2015 at 10:10

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STOP THE PRESSES! Raphmoe, offering a serious argument?

I think your points are pretty much bang on, but I do think there is room for good styling, as seen on the CX5.

Andy Sheehan, StreetsideStig > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 02/12/2015 at 10:15

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I've often wondered about this. Is it really any more expensive to design an exciting looking car than a boring looking one? Why can't every car look exciting? Why wouldn't everyone want a car that looks awesome, rather than one that looks forgettable?

boredalways > Raphmoe 02/12/2015 at 10:21

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wow...that was like the ELR commercial in Bizzaro World

* get a Dodge Durango. Or is it Ram Durango these days?

boredalways > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 02/12/2015 at 10:24

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They are bland because crossovers are the new minivan. Consumers must reap what they sow.

Edit: also we wouldn't have to deal with this crap if consumers of family haulers just stayed with wagons. We all would benefit!

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 02/12/2015 at 10:30

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Call me crazy but I think the new equinox is a step in the right direction. Looks a lot better than the old one.

Vicente Esteve > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 02/12/2015 at 10:31

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The wheels on the Equinox just look plain worng. Its as if they just crashed it randomly until a different shape appeared and called it a refresh.

The new Pilot looks like a retarded Rinoceros.

pauljones > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 02/12/2015 at 10:31

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No, but I do plan on cruising at 75mph on a weekend roadtrip.

Raphmoe > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. 02/12/2015 at 11:56

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Raphmoe understands the car industry and also tells jokes; sadly, some people think the Moes only tell jokes, when in fact the Moes have shined lights on truth to power in many ways.

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > Raphmoe 02/12/2015 at 12:11

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Moes should not tell jokes.

kanadanmajava1 > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 02/12/2015 at 12:12

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The crossovers are extremely boring. The used car lots will be pretty horrible in 10 years. But I'm not very worried because I'm not planning to find myself a car (yes, crossovers and SUVs are cars here) made in 00's or after.

There are plenty of old cars left for me.

PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 02/12/2015 at 13:05

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the pilot I agree with, but if good ol' Joe Smith opts to lease the 3.6 V6 Equinox, he will be getting a CUV that puts down 300 or so hp. keep in mind, that's just shy of the engine in the 335i, and is about 60 more than the current pilot.

PS9 > El Relámpago(LZone) - Humanity First! 02/12/2015 at 16:00

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Looking for sharpness and sexy from a crossover is like looking for a hustler magazine at the Public library.